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UPDATE: THIS FILE LAST EDITED 10-2007
COMPUTER
TALK
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A PUBLICATION FROM THE...
SIGHT LOSS
INFORMATION
DETECTIVE
.....ALL RIGHTS RESERVED
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NOTE: THIS INFORMATION IS NOT INTENDED AS AN ENDORSEMENT OR RECOMMENDATION, AND IS PRESENTED SIMPLY AS A CONVENIENCE TO THE READER. BECAUSE OF THE CHANGING AVAILABILITY OF PRODUCTS AND SERVICES, THE COMPLETENESS OF THIS LISTING IS NOT GUARANTEED.
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THE FRENCH LANGUAGE SOMETIMES ASSIGNS GENDER TO NOUNS AND EVEN IN ENGLISH, A SHIP IS USUALLY REFERRED TO AS SHE.
A GROUP OF MEN DECIDED A COMPUTER IS CLEARLY FEMALE BECAUSE...
1.NO ONE BUT THEIR CREATOR UNDERSTANDS THEIR INTERNAL LOGIC
2. THE NATIVE LANGUAGE THEY USE TO COMMUNICATE WITH EACH OTHER IS A MYSTERY TO THE REST OF US
3. EVEN THE SMALLEST MISTAKE IS STORED IN LONG-TERM MEMORY FOR LATER RETRIEVAL
4. AS SOON AS YOU COMMIT TO ONE, YOU START SPENDING WAY TOO MUCH MONEY ON ACCESSORIES
A GROUP OF WOMEN DECIDED A COMPUTER IS CLEARLY MALE BECAUSE...
1. YOU HAVE TO TURN THEM ON FIRST BEFORE YOU CAN GET ANYTHING DONE WITH THEM
2. THEY HAVE A LOT OF DATA, BUT STILL CANNOT THINK FOR THEMSELVES
3.EVEN THOUGH THEY ARE SUPPOSE TO HELP WITH SOLVING PROBLEMS, OFTEN THEY ARE THE PROBLEM
4. AS SOON AS YOU COMMIT TO ONE, YOU FIND THAT BY WAITING A LITTLE LONGER YOU COULD HAVE GOTTEN A BETTER ONE
LIKEWISE, OUR COMPUTERS HAVE RECYCLED MANY OF OUR EVERYDAY TERMS:
1. APPLICATION IS AN EMPLOYMENT FORM
2. BACKUP IS A TOILET PROBLEM
3. CRASH MEANS A BIG NOISE
4. CURSOR IS SOMEONE WHO USES PROFANITY
5. DOT IS REALLY A PERIOD
6. HARD DRIVE IS A LONG AUTOMOBILE TRIP
7. MEMORY IS SOMETHING YOU LOSE WITH AGE
8. MOUSE IS A VERY SMALL ANIMAL
9. ONLINE MEANS YOU ARE WITH OTHERS IN A CUE
10. PROGRAMS ARE ON THE RADIO
11. SERVER IS SOMEONE WHO BRINGS YOU FOOD
12. VIRUS CAN SICKEN MANY PEOPLE
13. WEB IS THE HOME FOR A SPIDER
14. WINDOWS ARE WHAT EVERYONE HATES TO CLEAN
15. KEYBOARD IS PART OF A PIANO
SPEAKING OF KEYBOARDS, DID YOU KNOW...
1. THE LONGEST WORD THAT CAN BE TYPED USING JUST ONE KEYBOARD ROW IS TYPEWRITER
2. THE LONGEST WORD THAT CAN BE TYPED USING JUST THE LEFT HAND IS STEWARDESSES
3. THE LONGEST WORD THAT CAN BE TYPED USING JUST THE RIGHT HAND IS LOLLIPOP
4. THE LEFT HAND DOES 56 PERCENT OF THE TYPING
- EACH OF THE ABOVE CREDITED TO ANONYMOUS INTERNET AUTHORS
- END OF TEXT